Who doesn’t love receiving a thank-you note? But writing and sending them—that is a different experience. For some reason, many of us have a mental block when it comes to sending out those heartfelt missives and don’t know what to write in a thank-you note.
But perhaps we need to adjust our mindset: Penning a note of gratitude is not just great for lifting someone else’s spirits. It’s also great for lifting our own.
According to research published in the Journal of Applied School Psychology, writing thank-you notes can elevate our relationships and boost positive emotions. Putting pen to paper can even benefit your self-esteem, as well as your physical and psychological health.
Bonus: Writing thank-you notes is also good for the planet. Your handwritten message comes from a renewable resource, trees. When we use paper in our everyday lives, we contribute to the carefully managed forests where purpose-planted trees are grown, giving flora and fauna a sustainable habitat.
Plus, when the recipient has finished reading your note a few times, they can put it into the recycling bin, where it gets reused and made into new paper products. Is there anything to be more thankful for than helping the planet?
What Should You Write in a Thank-You Note?
A thank-you note “should recapture that smile and handshake or hug you would give the giver in person, and offer it in a form that can be read and reread,” according to Margaret Shepherd, author of The Art of the Handwritten Note: A Guide to Reclaiming Civilized Communication.
And while Shepherd concedes that there are many ways to say thank you on paper, she suggests that the best kind of thank-you note has five key characteristics. It is generous, specific, prompt, succinct and personal.
How Do You Start a Thank-You Note?
If you’re getting tripped up on the salutation, turn to the famed Emily Post Institute. Its etiquette advisers recommend starting a formal professional thank-you with “Dear [title] [last name].” If you have a close professional relationship with the recipient, you can use “Dear [first name],” the same as you would in a thank-you note to a friend. Depending on your style (and the recipient), you can follow the trend of being less formal and using a first name in more instances than what classic etiquette calls for.
If you’re writing to a close friend or someone in your social circle, “Dear” works, but it also opens up possibilities for using nicknames or initials, or to use the greeting “Dearest.”
Here’s an example of a thank-you note for a gift:
Dear Jane,
Thank you so much for the comfy sweater. How did you know blue is my favorite color? I look forward to wearing it for years to come. Your thoughtful gift means so much to me.
Warmly, John
And there are many gifts to send thank-you notes for. There are birthday, baby and bridal showers, wedding and holiday gifts. But thank-you notes are for so much more than just receiving a gift. According to Shepherd, “Handwritten notes are not only for the kind of gifts that come wrapped in a box. You should be alert to the many occasions when you can thank people who give you their time, their thoughts, their patience, their information, their connections and their hospitality. These generous acts may surround an annual event or milestone or occur throughout your life.”
So here are a few more circumstances where thank-you notes are not just appropriate, but encouraged:
How to Write a Professional/Job Interview Thank-You Note:
Dear Mr. Doe,
Thank you for taking the time on Thursday to meet with me regarding the opening for a product manager. I know you are busy, and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. I enjoyed learning more about the position. I am including a list of personal and professional references and am happy to answer any questions you might have regarding my experience. Thank you again for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely, Jane Smith
How to Write a Professional/Job Reference Thank-You Note:
Dear Ms. Jones,
Thank you so much for providing a reference for me to ABC Inc. I greatly appreciate your taking the time to speak with them on my behalf. Your support in my job search means a great deal, and I am truly grateful to count you as a reference.
Sincerely, Jane Smith
How to Write a Thank-You Note for a Gift of Support:
Dear John,
I just want to thank you for your friendship and support over the past few months. Your kind words and deeds constantly remind me how lucky I am to have you in my life. I could not have gotten through these months without you.
I am so very thankful for your friendship.
Love, Jane
How to Write a Thank-You Note for a Gift of Time:
Dear Jane,
It was great fun to see you at lunch yesterday. I know how crazy life can get, and I am always grateful to spend some of that time with you. Have a wonderful week ahead, and let’s not let too much time go by before we make another lunch date.
Love, Jill
Take your letter to the next level by delivering it on homemade paper! By reusing cardboard and paper scraps, you can make your own seed paper cards that recipients can plant in their gardens. Get the instructions to make the cards here!
